Monday, September 29, 2008

What's the Rush?

I blame Sex and the City. For bringing to light all which is true - if you're not married by 30, you're damaged goods. Okay, I'm kidding. You're not damaged goods. First of all, I don't agree with the institution of marriage (at least in the traditional sense, where it came from etc...), and second, its not legal for me to marry in this country - do the math, I'm a homo.

Nonetheless, there is an urgency for companionship in your late 20's. An "oh, shit, am I going to end up an old maid with 12 cats?". Well, not me because I'm allergic, but you know what I'm saying. I got a bad case of the "oh crap I need to meet someone" the other day. I guess it was just a poor choice of song selections on my iPod that had me thinkin' of love, or marriage, or wait, they're supposed to be one in the same, right? Anyway, so I'm sitting there minding my beez wax when a couple gets on the train, well they were either a couple or really affectionate brother and sister (hey, it happens). The man kindly offers the lady the seat (right next to me) and she grabs his bags, since he's standing. How sweet *pulls out barf bag* and at that precise moment my iPod dies. Fuck. So, its not like I wanted to be all in their business, I had no choice. It was either this couple or the two women across from me gossiping about some coworker, and since I didn't have the full story, it wouldn't have been fair to listen (even I believe myself, sometimes).

I'm jumping on board mid story, but I can tell she's going on and on about the morning she had at the gym. How it was empty and she got to use her favorite machine (its the little things in life, people). And how the only stations on the big tv's were MTV (my current employer, ironic!) and ESPN ...then goes on about how some employee comes over to her and asks if she would like to change channels, and she tells him thats its okay, she likes ESPN and how she loves sports, like its some sort of accomplishment, and then she's goes on about how the guy's so impressed to meet a woman that's into sports - what is this, 1952...unless the gym guy was Omish, I'm most certain he's met a woman into something crazy like sports. I'm looking around, so not to be caught eavesdropping, but I glance up at the guy, and he's is just somewhere else. His mind is on another planet. She's yapping, on and on and he's not even listening! But he's good at this game because he waits for his cue (for the chick to shut up) and on beat, smiles and nods and says "oh that's funny, honey". Best part is how BEFORE she's completely finished her story, he jumps in and starts telling his. Its as if he had been sitting there just waiting his turn to speak this whole time. So, he jumps in and proceeds to tell and even more boring story, something about his coworkers and a file and Bob didn't have it but Sue swore she gave it to him and it was on Toms desk the whole time *insert fake laugh here*. And I glance over at her...and what's she doing? Staring at the train floor...blank. She's not even paying attention to him. I'm like HELLO the file was on Toms' the whole time, ain't that a hoot?!?! Crickets from her. She too, waited her cue smiled and nodded, but she was good, she added a hand stroke for affection (nice touch!).

Its a tennis game, the two go back and forth with boring stories up the entire west side of Manhattan. It was a long ass train ride, a long iPodless train ride. He talks about some prick at work, she's trying to decide if to order Thai or not, neither paying attention to what the other has to say...and me, well I'm just eavesdropping hoping that THIS isn't what all relationships end up like.

Is this what we have to look forward to?...finding someone to smile and nod at while patiently awaiting your turn to speak? If so, then I'm ALL SET. At least when I talk to myself, there's always someone listening.

No comments: